THE GRUDGE
The Grudge Festers
The very theme of these three worship services: “Attitude Adjustment” implies that we have attitudes that might need some adjusting. It implies that we aren’t as Christian as we ought to be. It implies that we really need some help. And with the focus of our worship this morning specifically on “forgiveness,” I think that all of us in here would agree that this is one area in our lives in which we need a lot of help - myself included. Because forgiveness is hard, isn’t it? It really is a difficult thing to do. To push aside your feelings of anger against that person who has wronged you… To suppress your desire to remain bitter against that person who has said bad things about you… To go out of your way to help that person, to care for that person, to genuinely love that person who doesn’t even care about hurting you… that is difficult. And not only is forgiveness difficult, it’s no fun either! Because we would rather hold a grudge, wouldn’t we? The grudge. A nasty festering ball of scorn that we don’t want to catch, but something that we don’t want to get rid of either once we have it. We want to remain angry. We want to remain the victim. We want to harbor bad thoughts and a hostile attitude towards that person because they don’t deserve it! They aren’t sorry! They don’t care! So why should we?
And so when we are holding that grudge and we run across passages like Ephesians 4:31: “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger,” we just try not to think about those kinds of things because we don’t want to be forced to apply those words to our lives. And then when we keep reading on to the next verse, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you,” we try to say to ourselves, “Yeah, but Paul or Jesus didn’t have to deal with anyone like this person in my life who is completely unbearable.” And when we hear those very next words in the book of Ephesians: “Be imitators of God… and live a life of love” we complain to our God, “But what about that thing they did to me! What about those words they said about me! What about me? I want justice! I want retribution! Why should they get off so easily? Why do I have to make the sacrifice for them when they are the ones in the wrong?” Forgiveness is difficult because forgiveness is selfless. Forgiveness is difficult because it means that you have to care more about that person than about yourself. Forgiveness is difficult because that means you have to let go of the grudge.
The Grudge against Joseph
Joseph’s brothers couldn’t let go of the grudge. Joseph was one of the 12 sons of Jacob in Old Testament times. But Joseph happened to be his father’s favorite out of all of his brothers. And because of that Joseph received a beautifully ornamented coat that none of his brothers received. And then on top of that Joseph told his brothers about some dreams that he had had that depicted his brothers bowing down to him in honor. And so his brothers despised him. They detested him. They held onto that nasty festering ball of scorn against him and they couldn’t let that grudge go. And so one day when he went out to them in the fields they even debated killing him. But they ended up throwing him in a well instead and then sold him as a slave to a caravan that happened to be passing by. They then dipped his beautiful coat in goat’s blood and took it to their father so that he would think that Joseph had been killed by a wild animal. Their trick worked. Their hatred went undetected. The grudge was satisfied.
Years later, after Joseph went through a series of ups and downs in his life, the Lord saw to it that this young man ended up as the second in command over the entire land of Egypt. In fact, he was in charge of almost everything, including the storage and distribution of food during times of famine. And so when a severe famine hit the land of Israel, Joseph’s brothers - the same ones who had sold him as a slave when he was a kid - came down to Egypt to buy food from Joseph himself. And although Joseph knew who they were right away, his brothers didn’t recognize him at first until Joseph revealed himself as the one whom they had hated and sold and lied about so many years before.
And once Joseph told them who is was, his brothers were afraid. And why wouldn’t they be? The one they had treated so maliciously when they were younger was now in control of the most powerful kingdom of that time. He could do anything he wanted. He could get back at them for everything they had done to him and no one would be able to stop him. And so When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “What if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrongs we did to him?” So they sent word to Joseph, saying, “Your father left these instructions before he died: ‘This is what you are to say to Joseph: I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly.’ Now please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your father.” When their message came to him, Joseph wept. His brothers then came and threw themselves down before him. “We are your slaves,” they said. Joseph’s brothers were genuinely afraid for their lives. They knew what they deserved. They knew that if Joseph was anything like they were his desire for vengeance would be brutal. But nothing like happened. Instead: Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them. There was no punishment. There was no retribution. There was no payback. Because there was no grudge. Joseph did not hold anything against his brothers. Joseph did not want revenge. He wanted to love them. He wanted to forgive them. And he did.
The Grudge against Jesus
And I think that when many of us read this story we shake our heads and think: “How could he do that? How could he possibly let what they did to him go unpunished? How could he not be angry about their cruelty and their heartlessness? How did he get rid of that nasty festering little ball of scorn, that grudge? This is how: Joseph knew that God did not hold a grudge against him. The Lord could have held a grudge. Because Joseph certainly wasn’t the most exemplary Christian throughout his life. He seemed to be a little arrogant when he was younger, or at the very least he wasn’t as tactful or as loving as he should have been around his brothers. And he undoubtedly committed many other sins throughout his life. And so the Lord could have held a grudge against him. He had every right to. Because the Lord expects all of his people to follow what he says. He expects everyone to do what they are supposed to do and refrain from what they are not. And so a sin is not simply a mistake. Doing something that goes against God’s Word - or failing to do something that is in God’s Word - is not just an error or an oversight. Every sin is a personal attack on the character and the will of God himself. He takes it personally! He is disgusted and very unhappy about any sin that is committed. And he doesn’t forget it! He doesn’t just brush it aside! He doesn’t simply overlook it and move on. No, God actually holds a grudge for every sin that has ever been committed. But he doesn’t hold that grudge against you. Because he already held that grudge against his Son.
The Father appointed God the Son to come down to this earth. Not only to live, not only to preach, not only to set an example, but so that the Father would have someone to hold that grudge against. And all of the anger and all of the spite and all of the hatred that the Father has for sins and for those who commit them came crashing down on Jesus as he hung on the cross. The Father rejected his Son there; he despised his Son there; in a holy rage that can only come from a perfect God he loathed Jesus there on the cross. Because Jesus was carrying our sins. So the Father carried out the grudge he held against them. And it was a fierce and merciless punishment. The Father did not hold back. The Father did not let up. The Father let loose the full extent of his wrath on our Savior as he hung there in our place. Remember Jesus crying out: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” in the middle of his crucifixion? Does it surprise you why he said those words? He had been abandoned by his Father in the very pits of hell. And it was excruciating; it was terrifying; it was almost to the point of unbearable. It was so horrific, in fact, that Jesus died. Jesus actually died from the pain. But when he did, the punishment was over. The sentence had been carried out. The grudge had been satisfied.
The Grudge Gone
Joseph, who lived 1700 years before Christ, certainly didn’t know all of the details of this crucifixion that Jesus would one day perform on his behalf, but he already believed in the results. Joseph trusted that God did not hold a grudge against him for his sins and so he was more than happy to show that same kind of love to his brothers. He was so motivated by the kindness and the mercy of his God that even being sold into slavery and the raw hatred that his brothers had once shown him were not enough to dampen the forgiveness that he was thrilled to give. There was no nasty festering ball of scorn in Joseph’s heart, just love. Not because he was such a noble person but because he had been influenced by the love of his Lord and the grudge Jesus would eventually take for him. It had to have had a powerful effect on his heart to make him want to forgive his brothers for what they did. And, of course, it was powerful. And, of course, it still is.
The sacrifice of your Savior and the wrath of God he took for you because of the grudge God held against your sins is still powerful. It has forgiven you. It has worked on your heart so that you believe that you are forgiven. It comforts you with the fact that God the Father already considers you forgiven even while you are still a sinner on this earth. And with that joy in your heart and that comfort in your soul, the forgiveness that you are now to give to others can flow more freely. It can come more naturally. Because that massive amount of debt has been removed. The anger has been appeased. The grudge is gone.
That doesn’t mean forgiveness is easy. Forgiveness is still hard, isn’t it? Even if we are motivated by the forgiveness we have through Christ, the forgiveness we are to give to others is still one of the most difficult things for us to. Forgiveness is a sacrifice of sorts. It is giving up of our supposed right to be angry; it is letting go of our bitterness; it is ignoring the desire for revenge; it is the opposite of selfishness; it is an act of unqualified love. Forgiveness is difficult for us because there is no ego in forgiveness. There is no “me.” There is no grudge.
Joseph demonstrated this kind of forgiveness beautifully. Christ, of course, did more than just demonstrate it; he died for it. We, on the other hand, will probably always struggle with it. We will find it against our nature to forgive others - especially when they don’t deserve it. But know this: when you fail to forgive, you are forgiven. That is the reoccurring comfort as well as the reoccurring motivation: you are forgiven - again. You are freed from the punishment of your sins - again. You are released from the anger of that grudge that God held against you - again. And I realize that the person who has sinned against you may not deserve your forgiveness. They may not ever earn your forgiveness. But hey: neither have you. And so what is the best advice on how to be able to get over that hump and forgive those who have sinned against you? Just this: Continue to give the Holy Spirit the opportunity through his Word to work his forgiveness in your heart so that you want nothing more than to give that free forgiveness to others.
Amen.
“May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.” - 2 Cor. 13:14
The Grudge Festers
The very theme of these three worship services: “Attitude Adjustment” implies that we have attitudes that might need some adjusting. It implies that we aren’t as Christian as we ought to be. It implies that we really need some help. And with the focus of our worship this morning specifically on “forgiveness,” I think that all of us in here would agree that this is one area in our lives in which we need a lot of help - myself included. Because forgiveness is hard, isn’t it? It really is a difficult thing to do. To push aside your feelings of anger against that person who has wronged you… To suppress your desire to remain bitter against that person who has said bad things about you… To go out of your way to help that person, to care for that person, to genuinely love that person who doesn’t even care about hurting you… that is difficult. And not only is forgiveness difficult, it’s no fun either! Because we would rather hold a grudge, wouldn’t we? The grudge. A nasty festering ball of scorn that we don’t want to catch, but something that we don’t want to get rid of either once we have it. We want to remain angry. We want to remain the victim. We want to harbor bad thoughts and a hostile attitude towards that person because they don’t deserve it! They aren’t sorry! They don’t care! So why should we?
And so when we are holding that grudge and we run across passages like Ephesians 4:31: “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger,” we just try not to think about those kinds of things because we don’t want to be forced to apply those words to our lives. And then when we keep reading on to the next verse, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you,” we try to say to ourselves, “Yeah, but Paul or Jesus didn’t have to deal with anyone like this person in my life who is completely unbearable.” And when we hear those very next words in the book of Ephesians: “Be imitators of God… and live a life of love” we complain to our God, “But what about that thing they did to me! What about those words they said about me! What about me? I want justice! I want retribution! Why should they get off so easily? Why do I have to make the sacrifice for them when they are the ones in the wrong?” Forgiveness is difficult because forgiveness is selfless. Forgiveness is difficult because it means that you have to care more about that person than about yourself. Forgiveness is difficult because that means you have to let go of the grudge.
The Grudge against Joseph
Joseph’s brothers couldn’t let go of the grudge. Joseph was one of the 12 sons of Jacob in Old Testament times. But Joseph happened to be his father’s favorite out of all of his brothers. And because of that Joseph received a beautifully ornamented coat that none of his brothers received. And then on top of that Joseph told his brothers about some dreams that he had had that depicted his brothers bowing down to him in honor. And so his brothers despised him. They detested him. They held onto that nasty festering ball of scorn against him and they couldn’t let that grudge go. And so one day when he went out to them in the fields they even debated killing him. But they ended up throwing him in a well instead and then sold him as a slave to a caravan that happened to be passing by. They then dipped his beautiful coat in goat’s blood and took it to their father so that he would think that Joseph had been killed by a wild animal. Their trick worked. Their hatred went undetected. The grudge was satisfied.
Years later, after Joseph went through a series of ups and downs in his life, the Lord saw to it that this young man ended up as the second in command over the entire land of Egypt. In fact, he was in charge of almost everything, including the storage and distribution of food during times of famine. And so when a severe famine hit the land of Israel, Joseph’s brothers - the same ones who had sold him as a slave when he was a kid - came down to Egypt to buy food from Joseph himself. And although Joseph knew who they were right away, his brothers didn’t recognize him at first until Joseph revealed himself as the one whom they had hated and sold and lied about so many years before.
And once Joseph told them who is was, his brothers were afraid. And why wouldn’t they be? The one they had treated so maliciously when they were younger was now in control of the most powerful kingdom of that time. He could do anything he wanted. He could get back at them for everything they had done to him and no one would be able to stop him. And so When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “What if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrongs we did to him?” So they sent word to Joseph, saying, “Your father left these instructions before he died: ‘This is what you are to say to Joseph: I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly.’ Now please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your father.” When their message came to him, Joseph wept. His brothers then came and threw themselves down before him. “We are your slaves,” they said. Joseph’s brothers were genuinely afraid for their lives. They knew what they deserved. They knew that if Joseph was anything like they were his desire for vengeance would be brutal. But nothing like happened. Instead: Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them. There was no punishment. There was no retribution. There was no payback. Because there was no grudge. Joseph did not hold anything against his brothers. Joseph did not want revenge. He wanted to love them. He wanted to forgive them. And he did.
The Grudge against Jesus
And I think that when many of us read this story we shake our heads and think: “How could he do that? How could he possibly let what they did to him go unpunished? How could he not be angry about their cruelty and their heartlessness? How did he get rid of that nasty festering little ball of scorn, that grudge? This is how: Joseph knew that God did not hold a grudge against him. The Lord could have held a grudge. Because Joseph certainly wasn’t the most exemplary Christian throughout his life. He seemed to be a little arrogant when he was younger, or at the very least he wasn’t as tactful or as loving as he should have been around his brothers. And he undoubtedly committed many other sins throughout his life. And so the Lord could have held a grudge against him. He had every right to. Because the Lord expects all of his people to follow what he says. He expects everyone to do what they are supposed to do and refrain from what they are not. And so a sin is not simply a mistake. Doing something that goes against God’s Word - or failing to do something that is in God’s Word - is not just an error or an oversight. Every sin is a personal attack on the character and the will of God himself. He takes it personally! He is disgusted and very unhappy about any sin that is committed. And he doesn’t forget it! He doesn’t just brush it aside! He doesn’t simply overlook it and move on. No, God actually holds a grudge for every sin that has ever been committed. But he doesn’t hold that grudge against you. Because he already held that grudge against his Son.
The Father appointed God the Son to come down to this earth. Not only to live, not only to preach, not only to set an example, but so that the Father would have someone to hold that grudge against. And all of the anger and all of the spite and all of the hatred that the Father has for sins and for those who commit them came crashing down on Jesus as he hung on the cross. The Father rejected his Son there; he despised his Son there; in a holy rage that can only come from a perfect God he loathed Jesus there on the cross. Because Jesus was carrying our sins. So the Father carried out the grudge he held against them. And it was a fierce and merciless punishment. The Father did not hold back. The Father did not let up. The Father let loose the full extent of his wrath on our Savior as he hung there in our place. Remember Jesus crying out: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” in the middle of his crucifixion? Does it surprise you why he said those words? He had been abandoned by his Father in the very pits of hell. And it was excruciating; it was terrifying; it was almost to the point of unbearable. It was so horrific, in fact, that Jesus died. Jesus actually died from the pain. But when he did, the punishment was over. The sentence had been carried out. The grudge had been satisfied.
The Grudge Gone
Joseph, who lived 1700 years before Christ, certainly didn’t know all of the details of this crucifixion that Jesus would one day perform on his behalf, but he already believed in the results. Joseph trusted that God did not hold a grudge against him for his sins and so he was more than happy to show that same kind of love to his brothers. He was so motivated by the kindness and the mercy of his God that even being sold into slavery and the raw hatred that his brothers had once shown him were not enough to dampen the forgiveness that he was thrilled to give. There was no nasty festering ball of scorn in Joseph’s heart, just love. Not because he was such a noble person but because he had been influenced by the love of his Lord and the grudge Jesus would eventually take for him. It had to have had a powerful effect on his heart to make him want to forgive his brothers for what they did. And, of course, it was powerful. And, of course, it still is.
The sacrifice of your Savior and the wrath of God he took for you because of the grudge God held against your sins is still powerful. It has forgiven you. It has worked on your heart so that you believe that you are forgiven. It comforts you with the fact that God the Father already considers you forgiven even while you are still a sinner on this earth. And with that joy in your heart and that comfort in your soul, the forgiveness that you are now to give to others can flow more freely. It can come more naturally. Because that massive amount of debt has been removed. The anger has been appeased. The grudge is gone.
That doesn’t mean forgiveness is easy. Forgiveness is still hard, isn’t it? Even if we are motivated by the forgiveness we have through Christ, the forgiveness we are to give to others is still one of the most difficult things for us to. Forgiveness is a sacrifice of sorts. It is giving up of our supposed right to be angry; it is letting go of our bitterness; it is ignoring the desire for revenge; it is the opposite of selfishness; it is an act of unqualified love. Forgiveness is difficult for us because there is no ego in forgiveness. There is no “me.” There is no grudge.
Joseph demonstrated this kind of forgiveness beautifully. Christ, of course, did more than just demonstrate it; he died for it. We, on the other hand, will probably always struggle with it. We will find it against our nature to forgive others - especially when they don’t deserve it. But know this: when you fail to forgive, you are forgiven. That is the reoccurring comfort as well as the reoccurring motivation: you are forgiven - again. You are freed from the punishment of your sins - again. You are released from the anger of that grudge that God held against you - again. And I realize that the person who has sinned against you may not deserve your forgiveness. They may not ever earn your forgiveness. But hey: neither have you. And so what is the best advice on how to be able to get over that hump and forgive those who have sinned against you? Just this: Continue to give the Holy Spirit the opportunity through his Word to work his forgiveness in your heart so that you want nothing more than to give that free forgiveness to others.
Amen.
“May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.” - 2 Cor. 13:14
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