Wedding Day: 1
Corinthians 13
It’s
Friday afternoon, someone you know is getting married, and you’ve been
invited. And so you show up to the
church a few minutes before the ceremony and the room is packed. You find a seat among friends and relatives
and listen to the beautiful pre-service music being played as you wait. The bride’s maids and the groom and his
groomsmen are standing up front when finally the bride walks up the aisle and
takes her place front and center. The
service begins, a few words are said by the one leading the service, and a
reading from Scripture takes place. And if
you were to guess what part of the Bible is going to be read for this wedding
service, what do you think it would be?
Inevitably, no matter what church you’re at, if it is at least a
semi-Christian wedding, the part of the Bible that is picked to be read on this
wedding day is probably going to be from 1 Corinthians 13: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it
is not proud. It is not rude, it is not
self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices
with the truth. It always protects,
always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
And
everyone there at the wedding thinks: “How wonderful! How nice!
What beautiful words to spoken on a day like today! Words about what love is supposed to be. Words that explain to this young man and
young woman how they are to treat each other throughout their marriage. What a perfect part of Scripture for them to
hear! How fitting!”
I’ve
heard 1 Corinthians 13 at a lot of weddings.
But the more I’ve heard this section of Scripture being read at weddings
throughout the years, the more I’ve thought to myself, “How depressing! How discouraging! What harsh words to read on a day like
today!” Because if the bride and groom
actually listened to these words and thought about what they meant instead of
gazing longingly into each other’s eyes, the potential bride or groom might be
apt to say, “What a minute! I’m not so
sure about this anymore! That is what
love is? That is what love is supposed
to be? Love doesn’t sound all that
fun. Love doesn’t sound like it’s too
easy at all!”
Have We Ever
Really Loved Anyone?
Because
look again at how the Holy Spirit speaks about love here. He doesn’t say that love is a feeling -
although feelings are a natural side effect love. And he doesn’t say that love is happiness
either. The Holy Spirit says that love
is hard work. I’m going to read these
few verses again from 1 Corinthians 13.
And when I get to a characteristic of
love that you find hard to carry out I want you to stop me, OK? “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is
not proud…” Why hasn’t anyone stopped me
yet? Let me start again and I’m going to
stop myself this time once I get to a part that I find difficult to carry out
in my own life. “Love is patient…” I can’t go any farther. I have to stop right there. Because if love is patient, if love waits
without getting irritated, if love puts up with ignorance and immaturity and
incompetence without getting frustrated, then I’m not very loving at all! The fact that real love is supposed to be
patient means that I lack love and I can’t even get past this first description! But for the sake of argument let’s assume I
can actually do that and we can read on.
“Love is
patient. Love is kind…” I have to stop again. Love is supposed to be kind: nice and caring
and thoughtful. I can think of a lot of
people I have not been very nice or caring or thoughtful to in the past. “Love does not envy.” I envy.
“Love does not boast.” I
boast. “Love is not proud.” I’m unduly proud of myself all the time. “It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it
is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” I’m very rude, I’m perpetually self-absorbed,
I’m constantly getting angry way too easily, and I’m always keeping a record of
wrongs - especially against those people who I don’t really like! “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices
with the truth. It always protects,
always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” Wow. True
love, is not only difficult; it’s impossible!
There isn’t any way I have fulfilled even one of these characteristics
of love, let alone all of them! To love
like the Bible defines love here would take every ounce of my energy and every
ounce of my strength and every ounce of my concentration every second of every
day and I still wouldn’t come close! Love
isn’t a fickle emotion. Love is a hard
choice. Love isn’t so easy, is it?
Maybe
it’s a little easier for you than it is for me.
I would really like to think that you are better at this than I am. I sincerely hope that you are able to fulfill
these qualifications of love more often than I have been able to. But if you are like me, if love isn’t so
easy, where does that leave us? Because
God demands that we love with this kind of love. “Love
your neighbor as yourself” (Matt. 22:39).
“Love your enemies” (Luke 6:35).
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved
you, so you must love one another.” (John 13:34). Throughout the Bible the Lord commands us
that we are supposed to love everyone. Not
just put up with everyone, but actually love
them with the kind of love God has shown to us.
And with the commands of our Lord ringing in our ears and the description
of love from 1 Corinthians 13 staring us in the face, can we do anything else
but throw our hands up in the air and say, “We can’t! We can’t do it!” And what about that bride and that groom on
their wedding day who hear these very words just moments before they dedicate
their lives to each other? “I can’t love
my spouse like that! I’m too
selfish. I’m too hopeless. I’m too backwards. There is no reason that my future spouse
should want to marry me! Because I know
I am not going to love the way I am supposed to love!” And if we know from the outset that we are not
going to be able to do what the Lord requires us to do, what is the Lord going
to do?
This is Love…
The Lord
is not going to be happy, there’s no doubt about that. He isn’t pleased when his commands are not
kept. But he has also planned for it
too. He knew that we wouldn’t live up to
the love of 1 Corinthians 13. He knew
that we wouldn’t love others as he has loved us. He knew that we wouldn’t even love him like we ought. But instead of lowering the standard so that
we could keep it, he sent his Son to keep the standard for us: “This is love: Not that we loved God, but
that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins” (1 John
4:10).
Our love
is not that standard. Our love does not
set the bar. God’s love sets the bar. And the bar he has set is the crossbar on
which his Son was crucified. That is the
kind of love that God has shown to us: he gave up his Son for sinners. That’s the kind of love that Jesus has shown to
us: he gave up himself up for sinners. What
Jesus did for us exemplifies every one of those characteristics of love in 1
Corinthians 13, doesn’t it? “Love is
patient.” Our Savior of love was very patient
as he lived among those who hated him in this world. “Love is kind.” Our Savior of love was extremely kind to
those who didn’t deserve kindness. “Love
does not envy or boast or brag.” Our
Savior of love did not envy those who had more, in fact he gave it all
away. He did not boast about his power
nor was he prideful about his position, instead he hid it in the form of a
servant. He was not rude when his
enemies mocked him, he was not self-seeking when they taunted him to come down
from the cross, he was not easily angered even in the middle of being tortured. And there is no doubt that our Savior of love
kept no record of wrongs because that was what the cross was all about: our
“wrongs” were wiped off our record and placed on the record of Christ! Our Savior of love didn’t delight in evil but
rejoiced in the truth. The love of our
Savior always protected those who were his, always trusted his Father’s will,
always kept a sure hope in the final outcome, and always persevered even
through death itself. The love of our
Savior never failed. Jesus fulfilled
every one of these characteristics of love.
And this love wasn’t easy! It
wasn’t just a matter-of-fact kind of love.
It was a real love. It was a
strenuous love. It was a bloody
love. But it was the love that his
Father had commanded. And it was the only
love that could do what we needed him to do.
Love is a Goal
And what
a relief that is! What a relief to know
that the love of our Savior covers over the lack of love from us. That his love breaks through even when our
love breaks down. That his love stands
strong even when our love falls on its face.
That his love never fails even when our love is nothing but
failure. And now our loving Savior says
this to us whom he has loved: “A new
command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you
must love one another.” (John 13:34).
And as loved and forgiven children of our Savior we say, “OK! I will gladly do my best! Because you loved me with so much love, I
will try to show that same kind of love to others. I will attempt to be patient and kind. I will not envy or boast or brag. I will not be rude or self-seeking; I will
not become easily angered or keep a record of wrongs. I will not delight in evil but will rejoice
in the truth. I will always protect, always
trust, always hope, and always preserve.
And if and when I fail to show that kind of love, O Lord, I know that
your love will forgive me. And being
renewed and rejuvenated with your love, I will try again - and again and again
- to show you how much I appreciate everyone you have done.”
Love is
the goal. It’s not a fully achievable
goal, of course. None of us will ever
reach that level where we can legitimately say: “I did it! I’ve fulfilled every characteristic of love! Finally I’m there!” But it still is something we aim for because
we know that it is God-pleasing and it is a wonderful way to thank our Lord for
the love he has shown to us. It’s still not
easy, mind you! Love isn’t going to be a
walk in the park! But it wasn’t a walk
in the park for Jesus either. Love was
death on the cross for him. But if he
was willing to show that kind of 1 Corinthians 13 love for you, doesn’t that
motivate you to show at least a little bit of that 1 Corinthians 13 love to
others?
Love is the
Cross
Chances
are the next time you hear 1 Corinthians 13 being read, you’ll be sitting in a
church at another wedding. And everyone
is going to be filled with a happiness and an energy and an excitement for the
bride and groom standing up front. And that’s
OK! Those words aren’t completely out of
place at a Christian wedding. Because as
those words are read you know that although the bride and groom will not
perfectly fulfill that kind of love, it will still be a God-pleasing faint
reflection of the love of Christ. And
above their heads, above the altar, above the one reading from 1 Corinthians
13, will be a cross. The center of the
worship service, the center of their future marriage, the center of love. Because only there is this love
fulfilled. Only there is love real.
Only there, “Love is patient,
love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is
not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices
with the truth. It always protects,
always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
Amen.
“May our Lord
Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us
eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you
in every good deed and word.” - 2 Thess.
2:16-17
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